Don’t worry that children never listen to you;

worry that they are always watching you.

~Robert Fulghum

I never knew before becoming a parent that some of the most important lessons I would teach my children would not be learned in those quiet, nurturing moments when I’m feeling rested and intentional. But in the daily interactions and reactions,  stresses and vices, day in and day out of me modeling life for my children.

I didn’t know that I would constantly have little eyes watching my every move as if I had sat them down one day and said “Do what I do…say what I say.”

Well, we never had that chat, yet even so, I feel those little eyes on me watching, learning about their world and their worth.

I can feel two sets of eyes on mine as I impatiently rush their very sweet, very slow buns into the car, late to an appointment; when I am tired and feeling sorry for myself because I have to clean the kitchen for the umpteenth time today; when I tune them out in need of a few minutes of peace or search the pantry for chocolate to calm frazzled nerves…

Two sweet little girl eyes peer back at me in the bathroom mirror most mornings watching, wondering if I mean what I say that it is truly more important to have a beautiful heart and love Jesus then to simply be beautiful. 

They don’t miss much.

In all of this, I know that there is good and there is grace.

Good being built each time I kiss their daddy and invest in our marriage. Good laid down for every “I was wrong to use that tone of voice with you.” “I was impatient, will you forgive me?”

Grace in the hours spent cuddled in my lap reading book after book, bible story after bible story, snuggling, praying, giggling.

Grace in the crafting, play time, park outings, egg dying, rice crispy treat making…

Grace in knowing that my role is not to be perfect, but to be in relationship with the one who is. If I am close to him, than I pray I will reflect him more than me to those little eyes and hearts that are watching.